She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
