This is not my ceiling
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
