There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize