I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
