She said her name was "party"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
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