The best revenge is premature balding
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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