Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
