so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
