she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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