Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
No subtext here. People are naked.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
