wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
