she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
