The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
