she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
