he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
