I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize