I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
