my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
