..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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