You just made me feel so damn special
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
