Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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