My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
