That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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