Whod you bang
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
