ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Holy sore nipples Batman
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
