3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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