You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
