I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
