And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
