Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Ladies don't puke and tell
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
