I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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