we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
