I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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