is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
