Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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