Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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