I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He shit in the fireplace
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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