It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
