My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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