Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
