she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
