My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
