Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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