well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
