sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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