these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
