Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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