Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
the raccoons are back...
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