people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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