3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
